How the McCrakens Stole Christmas
by Dantai
Summary: After the Moon Festival ends Christmas rolls around and the McCraken twins plus their friends have to go on a quest from Santa to get some presents for some unexpected guests


Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung from the mantle with care, and the tree was fully decorated, not a branch left bare. In the cool winter air a voice came adrift, soft spoken but quite miffed.

"Alright who stole my malt?" Diane asked as she held the empty cup upside down.

"What flavor was it?" David asks as he washes his cup in the sink of the small apartment. After the end of the Moon festival war, Ian and Isla had managed to get a decently sized apartment in the outskirts of London. David, now officially dating Isla, moved in nearby with his sister and with Jules as a roommate.

"Strawberry." She says still glaring down at the empty cup.

"Not me then, not a bean, not my thing." David says as he dries his hands with a small towel.

"Then who the hell was-" Diane starts to say but stops when she sees Elizabeth with a thin pink malt mustache, shyly looking at both her and David.

"Sorry Diane." They younger half-elf says.

"Your lucky Jeanne is coming over soon so the malts will be flowing." She says as she places the cup in the sink, mock glaring at the young girl.

"Speaking of when is Mal getting here?" David asks, sneakily high fiving his sister when Diane isn't looking.

"Ian is driving to pick him up now." Isla says as she walks in arms laden down with groceries.

"That is… a lot of food." Elizabeth says as she looks in awe at the things Isla had bought.

"And a few last minute gifts, how many people are we expecting?" David asks as he notices a small wrapped parcel poking out from the bags on Isla's arm.

"Use four, Jeanne, the Dyle clan, Duncan, Sterling and Orla." Isla sighs.

"So everyone who has tried to kill us in the past year." Diane asks as she raises an eyebrow.

"As far I know yeah." She says throwing items into the cupboard and ice box.

"Are we going to have to fight on Christmas?" Elizabeth asks as she chews on a cookie stolen from Isla's grocery bag.

"Not likely, we have a mage killer with us." Ian says as he throws the door open. Behind him Jeanne walks in holding out his arms for his friends.

"So before you say anything... I brought a few friends." He say stepping to the side to usher in three hooded figures and a blonde woman. Closing the door he nods to the hooded people. As one they lower their hoods to show two dragonborn and a tiefling.

"I'm sure we can handle four more people." Isla says as she continues to unload food.

"Six." Cynder corrects as she steps to the side, revealing two very young tiefling children. Isla smiles at the children while Elizabeth squeals and rushes over them.

"So how many does that make now?" David asks as he looks at the fully stocked cabinets, wondering if it will be enough.

"Eighteen I think." Ian says adding the names up in his head.

"We are gonna need a bigger table." David sighs as he looks at the small five person table in the McCraken's dining room.

"I got it." Diane says as he turns to face a wall and with a soft hum and a wave of her hand a ghostly door appears on the wall.

"I've been practicing and I can hold the Mansion now for a few days, should be long enough to last through Christmas." Diane says as she opens the door leading into a magnificent banquet hall.

"Me and Jeanne can help cook since we are kinda just imposing." Cynder says with a soft smile, the busy haired assassin nodding in agreement.

"Well some of our guests are bringing food so we don't have to cook as much, but we could definitely use the help." Ian says smiling broadly. However, from the corner of his eye he can see Isla giving him a strange look.

"Excuse use everybody we need to have a twin talk." Isla says, forcing a smile. Grabbing her brother by the back of his vest she pulls him into the hall and slams the door behind her.

"Isla what the hell?" He asks confused.

"Ian, I was ok with inviting Sterling, and Duncan, hell even Orla and even though he bitched about it David could stand the Dyle clan." She begins to say under a horse whisper.

"Wait are you not okay with them joining?" He asks looking back at the door.

"We. Don't. Have. Presents. For. Them." She hissed as she gestures to the door. Horror dawns on Ian's face as realization hits him.

"We don't have presents." Ian echoes, the color draining from his face.

"And we are out of money, no money no presents." She adds with a sigh.

"Well… there is another option." A gruff but jolly sounding voice says from down the hallway. Turning to the source of the voice, the twins gasp as they spot a man in a deep red robe and hat, with a long white beard.

"Are you-" Isla starts to say but is cut off by the figure.

"Saint Nicolas yes." He finishes for her.

"What do you mean there is another answer?" Ian asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Well your father, right old grinch he was, stole a lot of my items from the north pole, and left his demons to guard them.

"Of course he did." Isla grumbles under her breath.

"Well If you can do me a favor and get the magical sack he took, then I can give you a few gifts for your guests." Santa says with a large grin.

"But will we have time, Christmas Day is tomorrow?" Ian asks.

"Don't worry about time." He says with a wave of his hand. Looking between each other a hard grin etches itself on their faces.

"Well do it." They say in unison.

"Good, Diane, David get out here!" Santa yells causing the two to run out ready to fight.

"What's going on?" David asks steel shortsword at the ready.

"We're gonna steal Christmas back for Santa." Isla says.

"Indeed, and to make this easier, David Durn I offer you a pact with the Jolly one." Santa laughs as he extends a glowing hand to David. With a mad grin David takes the hand and shakes it, feeling magic flow through him once again.

"Good, and for one last gift, I have some friends who have missed you all." Santa adds before walking away. As Santa disappeared the twins and David fell a burning sensation on their skin red and green seals swirl lightly onto their skin.

"Wait those are command seals?" Diane asks as she looks at the symbol burned on Isla's chest.

"They are… and I have three of them." Isla says as she looks at her new seals.

"So do I." Ian says.

"Wait if we all have a full set of seals that means."

"About time they put it together." The very disapproving voice of Galehaut says as he and two other forms materialized into the hallway. Behind the large armored man stood Tanaka and Suzume, both looking quite happy to see the twins.

"We get our servants back?" Isla asks as she looks at Suzume.

"Saint Nick said it was our Christmas Present." Tanaka says as he looks the twins up and down before smiling, "You two grew up well."

"It hasn't even been a year since you last saw us." Ian says in confusion.

"My statement still stands." He says pulling the twins into a hug.

"Hello Jeanne." Suzume says looking at the mage killer with a small smile on her face. She shifts her eyes to Diane before turning her attention back to him.

"Nice to see you Suzume." Jeanne says back.

"Did you ever follow my advice with Diane?" She asks a small smirk on her lips.

"He did, we traveled for a while." Diane says from where she is leaning against the wall.

"This chit chat is nice and all but we need to get going… time is ticking." Galehaut says as he poke a thumb over his shoulder.

"Alright were too?" David asks turning to the twins.

"...Shit Santa didn't say." Isla curses.

"Well he said Dad stole it so where would Dad hide something he stole from the Santa?" Ian questions.

"The South Pole?" Elizabeth asks as she pokes her head out from the door.

"How long have you been listening?" David asks as he crosses his arms.

"Since you guys were called out here." She says not at all abbased at being caught.

"Is dad really that stereotypical though?" Ian asks.

"Ian if the man had a mustache he would have twirled it while he did anything evil." Isla deadpanned

"Alright fair." Ian concedes.

"What if it isn't there?" David asks as he plays with a ball of red and green arcane energy forming in his hands.

"We know what we're looking for right?" Diane asked getting a nod from everyone in return, "then we can use the spell locate object."

"I believe you know it don't you David?" Galehaut asks, and even though his face is covered the group can almost feel the smug smirk coming from him.

"I do… what the hell?" David asks in confusion as the different spells fill his head.

"So that's how Santa knows where to find us!" Jeanne yells in excitement.

"Alright I got the location of the lost bag of presents and it is… oh god damn it." David sighs as his eyes glow gold.

"What?" Ian asks as the others look at him in concern.

"We need to go south… way south." David sighs much to his sisters glee.

Once the party knew where to go and had collected their gear, the question was how to get there. Teleporting was out of the question with a distance of just under ten thousand miles, they sure as hell couldn't drive there and even though Saint Nick said not to worry about time, everyone doubted they could just take a boat there. Their problem was solved, as many of the problems they faced since the day had started, by the youngest among them. Elizabeth still half hiding behind the door leading to the apartment, spoke up.

"If David has Santa's magic, can he call for Santa's sleigh?" She asks with all the innocence a young child could muster.

"Well this whole day has been a cacophony of bad Christmas shenanigans so far… worth a shot." David sighs.

"Let's head outside, Elizabeth you stay here and tell everyone that we had to deal with some more last minute shopping." Isla says getting a mock salute from the younger Durn.

Leaving Elizabeth to her duties the party quickly made their way outside and into an abandoned alleyway. Kneeling down David sat in concentration as the others circled around him, waiting with bated breaths. This was the one shot they had and if it didn't work then they would fail, this had to work. Taking soft deep breaths, David concentrates on his magic, and his Warlock pact and as he does a soft jingling fills the air.

"Holly crap that worked." David says as he points to a small black silhouette barreling towards them at from the horizon. In second a large sleigh slid in front of them drawn by four large reindeer.

"So who can drive… reigns?" David asked as he pulls open the small side door of the sleigh. In unison the party turns to look at Diane expectantly.

"Why are you all looking at me?" She asks in surprise.

"You are the only one of us to drive a car." Jeanne points out as he hops into the front passenger seat.

"I taught Ian." She counters.

"Not a chance, he almost crashed the last time we went out driving." Isla says as she drags her brother away from the reins of the sleigh and pushes him into the back next to David.

"Suzume, Assassin, Lacer what about one of you, surly one of you must have some kill in this?" She asks.

"We can dematerialize." Galehaut says bordly

"And if we didn't then not everyone would fit." Suzume adds as she and Tanaka glitter into nothing.

"Would now be a bad time to mention I'm scared of flying… and animals?" Diane asks in one last attempt to deflect the responsibility to someone else.

"Just drive already." David groans as he leans back in the back seat of the sleigh. Gulping she nodded and slides behind the reigns. Grasping them tightly her knuckles turn white and with a deep breath she calms herself.

"Hiyeah!" She yells as she cracks the reins, sending the Reindeer into motion and the sleigh into the air with a boom.

"Crap crap crap crap!" They yell in unison as London disappears under them, replaced by coastline and ocean. Thirty minutes later the group saw glaciers appear in the water, and the antarctic coastline rising on the horizon.

"We're here." Diane yells over the rushing wind, much to the relief of the others.

"Diane quick question?" Jeanne yells catching the Aasamar's attention.

"What?"

"Do you know how to land?" He asks causing a long loud silence to fall between them all.

"Everyone brace yourselves!" She yells as the others brace for a rough landing, and rough it most definitely was. Thinking quickly Jeanne drew Yawarakai-Te and slashed the rigging holding the Reindeer to the sleigh, setting them free and leaving their ride to freefall to the ground. With a final crash they all plowed into the snow down to a thick layer of ice which shredded the sleigh. One by one they popped up from the snow looking around in awe.

"Well we made it where to next?" Isla asks as she digs her way out of the snow with some help from Suzume. Behind her Galehaut and Tanaka were digging Ian and David out as Diane and Jaenne were left to fend for themselves.

"Is everyone okay?" Ian asked, ignoring his sister.

"Yeah I think so." Jeanne says as he helps Diane up.

"So back to my original question where do we go from here?" Isla asks as they all gather.

"I sense a large concentration of demon magic further south of here." Suzume says as Juuchi Yosamu floats behind her in a meditative trance, likely tracking the demons. Nodding they begin to walk, and are surprised by the massive demonic stronghold in front of the. Minor demons patrolled the area as stronger looking ones sat on over watch. At the top of the tower two silhouette stood against the sky.

"Can anyone make out the things at the top?" Ian asks as he leveled peacemaker to try to get a better view. The three heroic spirits squinted at the top of the tower for a second before Tanaka began to laugh heartily while Galehaut chuckled.

"What's so funny?" David asks with a raised eyebrow.

"It's Jude and Boozle." Galehaut says.

"But dad is dead how are they still around?" Isla asks.

"Could dad be back?" Ian asks worried.

"No… I put my sword through his chest no way he could be back." Jeanne says as he holds Yawarakai-Te close.

"Look we can figure that all out in a little while. Lets just get up their and deal with them and get the gifts for now." Diane says getting a nod from everyone.

The fortress was somehow even bigger on the inside then it seemed to be. What was already a large twenty story building seemed to have hundreds of floors on the inside each filled with a small army of demons, devils, and aberrations. Each floor they hacked and slashed their way through and spells and bullets filled the air in a symphony a battle. With each hit they took they pushed back sevenfold, they were unstoppable. When they reached the top of the tower they felt only slightly exhausted thanks to David and his healing, aided by Ian and Peacemaker.

Standing before and alter with a Demonic looking goats skull at the apex Judhecca and Boozle waited for them. Boozle's skull was twisted into an impossible smile and Jude looked on stoick, a small sweat dripping from his brow at the sight of Galehaut.

"Well look who it is, the boring old human that killed me." Boozle sings as he sees Jeanne.

"How's the hole in your chest?" He shoots back, a smirk on his face.

"Let me give you one and you tell me." He laughs back. Taking a step forward Boozle readies to launch himself at Jeanne when a deep scratchy voice stops him.

"Hold yourself Jester… let us chat first." The skull on top of the alter spoke. Collecting the darkness around the alter the skull shifted into a seven foot tall goat looking monster.

"Hello children of Akuma." The goat creature growled out with a sickly smile.

"Who the hell are you?" Isla asks as she hefts Spark of Trickery onto her shoulder.

"I would guess he is Krampus." Ian guesses causing the creature to smile further.

"Good youngest son, smart as your father said." Krampus laughed.

"So Quantavious summoned you?" Diane asks, holding her violin down at her side.

"No creature, not even a prison of Akuma could summon me child, I come with the tide of Yule." He chortles.

"We need a plan." Jeanne says as he stairs down Boozle, a strange battle of wills between a stair down and a smile off, happening between them.

"Galehaut take Jude." David says still looking at Krampus.

"Suzume take down Boozle." Isla commands.

"Tanaka run support between them if you see an opening then take it." Ian orders.

The servants nod and rush to either side of Krampus leaving the goat beast for the five living people to fight. David, Isla, and Jeanne rush forward bringing blades to bear on the beast. The magic enhanced steel cutting through the demons tough hide. With a wide backhand Krampus pushes them away with a deep guttural roar. His eyes glow red with rage and he prepares to charge a down Isla when a spell slams into his flank nearly knocking him over.

Diane smirks as she readies another spell, a heavy concentration of mana forming around her as she plays her violin. Krampus tries to attack her but spelled bullets graze past him causing him to bleed. Ian grins as he loads another cartridge of magical ammo into Peacemaker. The fight carries on as the party wears down Krampus eventually beating him.

"Well done children, you have made the nice list this year for sure." Krampus laughs, holding his side as black ichor leaks through his hand. The party watches as he stalks back to the altar and pulls a full sack from under the stone base.

"That's it?" David asks waiting for the Christmas Demon to double cross them.

"Indeed, take you gifts go home, Christmas is almost here." Krampus says as he waves his hand and sinks back to the altar.

"This is the weirdest winter ever." Diane says as the all looked stunned at the large sack of wrapped gifts. Shrugging his shoulders David takes the sack and throws it over his shoulder.

"Diane can you teleport us home?" David asks, highly doubting he could resummon the sleigh.

"Yeah lets just get home." She says as a large portal opens, allowing them to walk through and return home.

* * *

Helsinki Finland, December 31, 1921

Sitting alone in a large dark room, Isla McCraken looked solemnly at a plate of ham, potatoes, and peas sitting in front of her. Elijah had brought her a small Christmas meal an hour ago and still she hadn't touched it. This was her first Christmas without Ian being there with her. She felt so very alone. Sighing she pushed her food away and turned to stare intently at an empty space.

"I know you're there Archer." She says as she rubs her forehead.

"Are you alright Isla?" She asks, despite already knowing the answer.

"Just… I miss Ian." She sighs, fighting back tears.

"We will get him back, I promise." Tomoe says as she takes Isla's hand gently squeezing it.

"I wonder what the Moon Cell is like?" Isla muses as she looks through the window into an empty part of the sky, just imagining the second moon that held her twin.

"Who knows, but maybe he is having a Merry Christmas." Archer says as she moves her hand from Isla's hand to her shoulder.

"Maybe… let's go see if Sun is doing something fun." Isla says as she pushes herself up and leave, Tomoe right behind her.

* * *

_**AN**_

Hello all. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or whatever winter season holliday you may celebrate. Even if you feel alone this season remember someone out there has their thoughts on you, and wish you were there with them. May the rect of December be your month and may the New Year bring you the fortune of time untold.

Thank you and Tara

-Dantai.


End file.
